Important insight into the healing of the heart.
By Andres Aguila
It has become almost cliché to say, “I don’t care what other people think.” I recently read a blurb written on Facebook by a lady I knew 20 years ago, which said she remembered the time, in high school, that she stopped caring about what other people thought. Her words accompanied her photo…with breast implants, make up, and dyed hair.
My observation of her contradiction is quite similar to my observation of western culture in general. It appears that most people care about what other people think. Is it wrong to care about what other people think of us? I tend to believe that there is a balance to be had somewhere in the mix of the human experience, which put us in a healthy place. I live on a farm. I wear torn and stained clothes and rubber boots nearly every day on the farm. On the occasions when I peal myself away from the paradise of the land here and make my way to the smog and hurried pace of the city, I wear different clothes…in fact, I usually even take a shower…and sometimes even use soap (natural soap, of course). So, perhaps I do care what others think…perhaps this kind of caring is a healthy concern…or maybe it is still just vanity.
The deeper topic of approval is the subject of self-worth. To judge our lives based upon the approval of others is a very dangerous road, which can eat away at our very souls and may hinder us from fulfilling our calling in life. One of the most common instances that I observe in this unhealthy seeking for approval is in the parent-child relationship. In counseling with people seeking answers to the question, “Who am I?,” it is nearly universal that some portion of the soul seeks and possibly even needs the approval of parents in order to feel complete.
Many people go through life, unaware of the subconscious placement of value on the approval by parents, spouses, or by others. People try to have the “right” clothing, car, job, friends, etc. in order to gain the approval of others. Many people go through life miserable, unfulfilled, and insecure. It appears that these two senarios are very directly related.
The human experience is made up of countless parts. For the sake of this discussion, let us focus on four major parts: body, mind, emotions, and spirit. In seeking health, I find that focus on all four of these is vital to growth in humans – as are soil, water, temperature, and sunshine to a plant.
To begin a healing process, perhaps the body or the mind manifests unpleasant symptoms. We then use the mind to try to find solutions. The emotions are likely triggered and sadness, anger, depression, etc. may manifest. All the while the spirit is crying out to be free. The spirit seeks fulfillment – meaning – purpose.
Our emotional responses are keys to going deeper into the heart to find answers. Using the emotions as indicators on the path to healing is very important. The emotions are like dashboard lights and gauges in a vehicle – they let us know when something needs attention. Balance with the emotions needs to be found in order for the journey to be peaceful. A goal I have set for myself is to have the ability to separate from my emotions in order to function in a peaceful groove, without being ruled by them. Yet, I choose to observe them, as I would a dashboard light, in order to be more conscious of the overall voyage. In other words, I may feel angry about something, but I do not have to freak out in anger. In fact, I do not even have to react out of that anger. I can stop, observe the situation, acknowledge the anger as being present, and separate myself from that emotion. Then I can make a conscious decision as to the next words that leave my mouth as well as the subsequent actions. This, of course, takes discipline and practice…which I am still working on.
So, in the subject of approval from our parents or from anyone else, it is important to acknowledge the feelings associated with their disapproval so that we can become more in touch with the past portion of our journey. Next, we usually need to realize that they will never reach our standard of desire for approval. We then detach from the emotions. We then let go of the judgments we have held on them. We let go of the “need” for their approval. Finally, we are healthy and happy and everything is perfect. We then live happily ever after.
OK, maybe not exactly like that. Perhaps we have to dig in deep, work hard at this voyage to freedom…and keep on keeping on even when the most painful memories and emotions surface. I have seen major growth in my own heart and in the lives of others who have worked with this approach to healing. It works.
I believe that there is something built in to humans, which yearns for that approving parent. I have found that the ultimate approving parent is our loving Creator. I believe that the fullness of what we seek in our own Earthly parents can only be found in deep personal relationship with God…our perfect mommy and daddy. I have found that God loves me exactly as I am. I have also come to love myself as I am. I still seek to grow and improve in areas, and I accept myself and love myself in the growing process.
When we get to know ourselves and establish relationship with the Most High, life becomes an exciting mission. On this mission, we come to expect that there will be resistance. Often times the resistance comes in the form of disapproving words from others. Modern society itself seems to be set against the freedom of individuals. The world system is strategically designed to imprison souls in the cage of insecurity so they will “fit in.” If your spirit is awakening and you are becoming free, the attacks will naturally become stronger. The good news is that there is a way and a truth and a life for you. Seek and you will find. Once this key is found, the doors to life are wide open and the mission becomes even more exciting. And then…who cares what people think?
Who are you? What is your purpose? What are you going to do about it?
Andres and his wife, Zahrah facilitate internships, empowerment counseling, and natural healing on a beautiful organic farm in Costa Rica. For more information about Awakening Soul; the vision of living in community; and for free downloads of Awakening Soul music, books, and other articles, visit:
www.Awakening-Soul.org also find us on facebook email - 1AwakeningSoul@gmail.com_